Io : The Angriest Moon In the Solar System

t's not a secret to folks who have read NightPiercer how dangerous the Jovian system is. But one of the main reasons isn't just because Jupiter is a failed star with a bad attitude. It also doesn't keep the best company. 🔪🔪

Did you know that Jupiter's moon Io is "attached" to Jupiter by something called a "flux tube"?

This is a real thing, and Io (wee little Io!) contributes a lot to how dangerous Jupiter's magnetosphere is. It feeds and aggravates Jupiter's plasma torus--which is like a giant demented swimmy-ring donut of NOPE that rings Jupiter.

Io is also the most geologically active thing in our solar system. It's got like 400 volcanoes--and it's just a little bit bigger than Earth's moon. Nobody talks more shit in our solar system than Io. So it's little, it's the color of spoiled milk and looks like something that you'd send to a lab to be cultured, it antagonizes an already surly Jupiter (which is salty because it's a failed star), and talks a lot of trash.

© 2019 Merry Ravenell